HANGING ON TO YOUR SANITY

Every once in awhile, I'll have a day when I feel as though the weight of the world is pulling the rug out from under me. More often than not, I'm so busy taking care of everyone BUT me, I feel like I want to run and hide somewhere.

I've been divorced for a few years, I have our three children full time, and sometimes, the thought of doing everything by myself is more than a bit daunting. About a year after the split, I bought a new house...new car and I started a new business.

Add to that, my childrens' father moved about 45 minutes away, and had the children every other weekend. Which meant that I had them 26 days of the month, and he had them for 4 days a month...by choice. There were no issues with how often he could see the children (still aren't), still, he chose to see them 4 days a month. I had 3 children full time, and was working full time. I did all of the homework monitoring, driving to and from things like piano, ballet, baseball, etc. At the end of each day, I was worn out. and I remember thinking to myself, "When do I get time for me?"

I started thinking, there was time in my day to do things for everyone but myself. I started to resent the feeling that I was doing everything, and he was apparently doing nothing. He didn't have anyone to think about but himself. He had no one to make dinner for, no one to drive to various lessons and outings, no real responsibility for anything but his own existence. It bugged the hell out of me.

Until one day, I thought, "I have to do better than this. I have to get something for myself, or I'm going to go crazy." I started out at the bookstore. Good old Chapters. I started out slowly, heading there only on weekends that the kids were away. It did the trick at the time. I spent hours at a time in that place...got my coffee, found a nice comfy chair, grabbed a stack of books and read 'til the place closed. I started to feel better. There was a certain sense of relief that came with getting out...not really worrying about anything but whether or not my coffee was hot enough. I decided after my second outing that I'd get out and do something for myself not just on weekends that the kids were away, but once a week. That was about all I could do at the time.

I've since learned that a major part of the key to hanging on to my sanity, is taking time for myself. As long as I do that on a regular basis, my home is harmonious. If I don't take time for myself, I become almost unbearable, and my children practically kick me out of the house.

Take time out for yourself. Whether you spend that time lounging in a bookstore, visiting friends, or booking an appointment at a spa (my most recent discovery), the time 'alone' will do you the world of good.

Take care of yourselves.

Martinis for Everyone!

Debbie.