My ex husband is a serious control freak (I think I've told you all this before). Our daughter (the 16 year old) did something this past weekend without permission, and to make things worse, she lied about it. Typical 16 year old girl behavior, butr she didn't hurt or kill anyone, so no real reason to go nuts...right? (When I was 16 I already had a license AND a car...pure trouble.)
But I digress...
Not only did he phone all of her friends and freak on them at one in the morning (I shit you not people...his explanation was that "it's the only way i'm gonna get the truth"), but he cut off her cell phone (probably well warranted as she never answers it when he calls and he pays for it), and threatened to take away her computer as well, something that he gave her as a a gift. (He has this tendency to give gifts that have heavy, rope-like strings attached...'you piss me off, I take your gift').
My punishment for my daughter was probably not as harsh, but I got my point across.
She's a 'social butterfly'...loves to be out with friends....wherever there's a gathering of two or more, my daughter is there...not an attractive trait in my book, but we are who we are. I took that priviledge away....and it's Spring Break :) She's not happy in the least (you'd think I killed her dog in front of her), but here's the big kicker; My ex husband (my children's father) thinks that by grounding her, I'm not being nearly harsh enough, and when I told him that "You don't get to decide what kind of punishment I dole out under my roof. You did your thing....", Then he hopped up on his soapbox, and gave me his best speech about how just because he doesn't live in the same house, doesn't mean that he doesn't get a 'say' in what kind of punishment our children get. He has a tendency to 'flip right out' at the smallest things. Generally this is supposed to turn into an angry argument and I just don't take his bait; I don't freak out, start yelling and screaming...it's so not worth it. I kind of try to find some middle ground, and steer the boat into calmer waters. I don't have any gray hair yet, and I'm sure as hell not gonna let him give me any.
I pick my battles....with my children AND with my ex husband. Handle what you can handle. The rest is filler.
Thanks Lynne for your 'participation'. I really do appreciate it :)
*What I'm listening to now: "Quickly" - John Legend (feat. Brandy)
For the record, it's been awhile because I was busy writing "The Joy of Ex" and building another blog. Come on over and visit me at www.thejoyofex.net! :)