TAKING BACK YOUR POWER


*Note:

For the record, it's been awhile because I was busy writing "The Joy of Ex" and building another blog. Come on over and visit me at www.thejoyofex.net! :)

This has been the longest day in recorded history. I have a raging cold, and all I want to do is curl up in bed and go to sleep until Monday morning.

Today (this evening actually) the kids are all going snow boarding with their dad, and I get to stay home by myself. Our son generally goes to their dad’s every weekend, but is staying with his father until tomorrow sometime (Saturday) because the Superbowl is on Sunday, and God forbid that he should have his son during the Superbowl. But the girls will be home tonight.

Come tomorrow, I’ll have the three of them back under my roof, and I’ll be seriously hunting for a place to hide.

I don’t feel like cooking ...picking up sushi on the way home. I’m drained.

I often wonder about what it would be like to win the lottery. I've always said that if I ever won a huge sum of money, I'd help every divorced mother I could, because this shat's not easy....especially when you don't have any money...and most divorced moms are short on that.

I have a few friends who're divorced moms...I'd give them some of my loot. One in particular who has the most adorable kids (teenaged girls) you'd ever want to meet. She's at the top of my list.

It just seems so strange...why is it that women get the short end of the stick when it comes to divorce? Okay...let me rephrase...the one who is 'awarded' the children, gets the short end of the stick financially when it comes to divorce. I've seen it time and time again. One party gets the kids, and the other gets to make 'adequate' child support payments which most of the time, are completely inadequate.

I used to have that short stick. It seemed as though in every situation that had to do with finances, even though I was the one with the kids full time, he always came out on top. It bothered me to no end. Until one day, I was having this conversation with my brother, who said "take back your power".

"Take back my power?" What's that supposed to mean? By "take back your power" he said that, I gave away my power by depending on the money (support payments) that my ex husband was paying for the children. But my reasoning for that was that because my children were young when I went through my divorce, I had to stay home. I couldn't get out into the work force, as my paychecks would go straight toward daycare. I'd be working for nothing.

After a very short time of reflection on what he'd said, I realized that he was absolutely right. It was MY job to either get a job, or start a business regardless of my circumstance, and regardless of what he was paying.

I did that. I started my business. I loved what I was doing, and I didn't have to leave my children to make 'extra' money.

If your ex is making support payments, and you're sitting at home with your kids because you don't "have to" go out to work, go out to work anyway, or start something of your own. Make your own money. Take back your power.

Thanks for reading.

Debbie.

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